Emotional Instability
One consistent difference between hard cultures (that increase the fitness of their members) and corrosive pop cultures (which spread merely because they are easy and appealing) is that almost all hard cultures reward and encourage emotional self-control while almost all pop cultures glorify emotional and mental instability.
Pop cultures frequently frame those who lose emotional control as “strong,” “dramatic,” or “interesting.” Just look at the way things like anger or “passion” are portrayed in popular media—those moments where a character gains superhuman abilities, driven, to some extent, by “losing control.” Think of the brooding hero, or the girl who is portrayed as being extra alluring because she is emotionally mercurial. Think of the blast and flames that surround a character, who, upon discovering the death of a friend, suddenly gains ten times as much power. Think of the sex symbols created out of characters like Jinx or Harley Quinn. (On this topic, Cracked produced a hilarious skit parodying the manic pixie dream girl trope that covers some of the behavior that is glorified in this kind of media.[[19]](#_ftn19))
There is no deep thought to be had around this. Teaching yourself to reward (i.e., to feel good about) emotional instability undermines your ability to be a functional, competent adult capable of effectively achieving complex goals.
While most hard cultures believe in emotional control, our family culture sits at the extreme end of the spectrum. Whereas most cultures frame it as “sinful” (something to be ashamed of) to allow oneself to be influenced by negative emotional states, we feel the same way about having one’s thoughts or actions influenced by feckless positive emotional states (though we do expect people of our culture to always signal positivity as doing so encourages other members of other cultures to work with ours).
As you have probably gathered by now, we see all emotional states as just things that we have because earlier humans who had them bred at higher rates in a completely different environmental and social context. From our perspective, allowing positive emotional indulgence to guide decisions is no less shameful than succumbing to any sub-optimal mental pattern, such as an addiction.
While all humans will lose emotional control—such is part of being human—members of our culture aspire to maintain total emotional control and look for that aspiration (and at least moderate mastery) in long-term relationship partners. Ideal partners help each other master their emotions. Participation in a relationship (be it business or personal in nature) in which all participants maintain and respect emotional control is more satisfying than ice cold water after a day of working in the sun.
From our perspective, every time your emotions and hormones win out over your personal logic and values, the animal within you—evolved traits you never chose to have—takes another bite out of the core of your identity—the part of you created with intention and logic. Given how comfortable and alluring they are, positive emotions are all the more likely to wipe out that identity. Though a useful tool, love can also infest and slowly consume your soul.