Arguments Against Choosing a Self-Image
Choosing what makes us happy, sad, angry, and envious is a choice available to everyone, but a choice very few of us decide to make. As with anything in life that requires self-reflection, we instinctively reach for flimsy excuses allowing us to avoid responsibility for our own lives.
When being reminded that you can choose who you are and that you are responsible for any failure to live up to your own ideals, your natural response will be to shirk that responsibility.
To avoid improving themselves, people often grab for the following shields:
• “I am who I am. I can’t change myself.”
• “I would no longer be ‘me’ if I change my internal self-image.”
• “Emotions are natural. I trust them to steer me in the right direction.”
While it is patently false that people don’t change, there is some merit to the idea that we essentially “kill” parts of ourselves by changing our internal models. If we contextualize ourselves as whatever views and ideas we hold RIGHT NOW, we are absolutely destroying parts of ourselves by changing our self-images. This is nevertheless largely irrelevant, as if you do not choose to change yourself, the world will change you. Parts of you will inevitably die. The only question is whether those parts of you will die by your hand, or that of serendipity + time.
It is also worth asking yourself: “Is a version of me that was created by external pressures a truer version than a version of me that I consciously designed?” If you see your identity as a sticky ball, would you rather it be covered with whatever dirt it picked up rolling down the road, or would you rather wash it off and decorate it with whatever you want?
We would argue that a “you” that you independently and consciously design is more genuine than a “you” someone else (or mere chance) created, but ultimately this is a personal judgment call.
With regard to emotionally driven decisions: history makes it clear that emotions do not always steer people in the right direction. Nearly every war crime, genocide, and rape has been committed by a person acting upon an emotion. Emotions do not somehow magically lead us down the right path; they do not even assist in their own maximization (i.e., if your objective function is to maximize positive emotional states, it would be worth rewriting your internal model into one that is not as affected by whatever gets you down most on a day-to-day basis).
If you believe in evolution, like us, you will also likely believe that emotions exist only because our ancestors who had them had more surviving offspring. Thus, there would be no reason to believe that emotions have special access to “truth” or “genuineness.” If you do not believe in evolution, you will see that almost all religious frameworks warn about the dangers of outsourcing higher cognition to base emotions. For example, in the Christian framework, emotions are the primary tool the Devil uses to lead people away from God. Even if the only thing in life you believe has purpose is the maximization of your own positive emotions, you will still be better off if you logically manipulate your emotions.
Finally, not mastering your emotional state can literally shave years off your life. Extended periods of anxiety, irritation, or depression can lead to problems with blood pressure and your heart. Positive emotions have even been shown to enhance the immune system while negative emotions suppress it, leading less happy people to get sick more often.